"Lord, make me an Instrument of your peace."

Well Summer has come and gone so fast and it's officially Autumn in NY. Although i love the colors, Fall is not my favorite season. It just reminds me of the dreadful winter ahead. But then i think about the Holidays, which is the only thing that brightens up my spirit. This past week was AWFUL!! The weather was absolutely horrendous. All the rain actually resulted in flooding my parents basement. Besides the weather, i wasn't feeling my best, mentally or physically. I decided to do a night shift at my old job on Monday night (i still work on a per-diem basis). It was a major mistake, not only was it busy but i ended up getting scratched by my Confused patient. Then i had the pleasure of waiting 2 hours after my shift was over in the ER to get it checked out. I had to get blood drawn to check my Hepatitis Titer and get a Tetanus shot. Meanwhile i was feeling very dizzy cuz i hadn't ate anything all night. On top of that, I had issues with my paycheck which i had to fix. So i didn't get home until early afternoon on Tuesday. By wednesday morning, my arm was soooooo sore , from the tetanus shot. And i had to work 3 days in a row @ Columbia, which in itself is dreadful enough. On top of that, i had the heaviest patient in the Unit. I had an awful migraine on wednesday night, i was almost nauseous by the time i went to bed. THen i woke up with a stiff neck the next day. After the incident with my confused patient, i was really feeling down about my choice of profession. I could have done anything else with my life, why did i become a nurse? Unfortunately we never get the credit and gratitude we deserve for everything Nurses do. We are slowly gaining our Respect as a profession. I feel like as a young nurse, still new in the profession, i have to work extra hard to gain respect from my colleagus, patients and their families. And sometimes it's

just too much!

Then i think about Why i chose this path? I feel unlike any profession, as a Nurse i'm there for my patients in their most weakest moments. As a critical care nurse, I do everything i can to keep my patients comfortable while they take their last breath and on occasions i have seen miracles happen. For example, I had a young patient with severe pancreatitis last week, who was very critical. The whole team of doctors and nurses worked very hard to keep him alive and when i got back to work this week, he was off of his dialysis machine and off of all the pressors, awake, doing dramatically better. And to top it off, we got an amazingly grateful letter from the family for everything we did. Although it's very rare to see such a total turn around, usually although we do everything imaginable, we end up losing more times than winning. By now i've came to accept it as a fact of Life. But moments like this reminds me why i became a Nurse.

A Nurse's Prayer

Let me dedicate my life today
to the care of those
who come my way.

Let me touch each one
with healing hand
and gentle art
for which I stand.

And then tonight
when day is done,
O let me rest in peace
if I helped just one..

Last sunday was the Malankara Youth day and the following prayer was part of the homily. I found the prayer to be very touching and we actually received a frame of the Prayer of Assisi as a house-warming gift from one of the Sisters.

St. Francis of Assissi

Prayer of Saint Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred . . . let me sow love
Where there is injury . . . pardon
Where there is doubt . . . faith
Where there is despair . . .hope
Where there is darkness . . . light
where there is sadness . . .joy

O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled . . .as to console
To be understood . . .as to understand,
To be loved . . . as to love
For it is in giving . . .that we receive,
It is in pardoning, that we are pardoned,
It is in dying . . .that we are born to eternal life